The best road rage I’ve ever seen was this girl screaming out of her car window “I hope you don’t fuck like you drive!” I still think about that sometimes.
(via fuckyeahloldemort)
(via sodamnrelatable)
Message from David Karpeveryone needs to read this.
Fuck yeah
FUCK YEAH
(via fake-mermaid)
Okay, it’s 9:30, I’ll start my homework at 10:00.
… Damn, 10:03, missed it. 11:00 it is!
(Source: , via fake-mermaid)
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
(via fuckyeahloldemort)
(via fake-mermaid)
(Source: lonelycoast, via zackisontumblr)
I DROPPED THE KETCHUP AND SCREAMED IN SHOCK AND THEN MY BROTHER CAME IN AND THOUGHT IT WAS BLOOD AND SCREAMED TOO AND WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING AT KETCHUP
(Source: teletubbiesmpreg, via fake-mermaid)
(via fake-mermaid)
look at this picture and tell me i shouldn’t be best friends with robert pattinson:
(Source: hateruess, via fake-mermaid)
(Source: fymodernfamily, via fake-mermaid)
(Source: puglovinnn, via exsisted)
WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY
(via fake-mermaid)
